Whenever a couple first starts to live together or get married, everything is so new and exciting that you think it will go on forever. Unfortunately, day-to-day stresses and busy schedules can soon mean the excitement wears off. It can be like you have become roommates, not lovers, and have begun to take each other for granted.
It doesn't have to be that way.
The important thing is to know what bad habits are passion killers and avoid them. In fact, you could introduce some everyday habits that would prevent you from starting to take each other for granted.
Here are some suggestions: Learn Each Other's Love Languages The marriage counsellor Dr. Gary Chapman has written a series of books titled The 5 Love Languages.
The five are:
- Acts of service
- Quality time
- Physical touch
Why not try a free quiz online where you can find out your own and your partner's love languages. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Here are a few simple suggestions of how you can value each other's love languages:
Acts of service
Just helping each other with everyday activities like doing the dishes, helping more with the children, doing the cooking, helping with the washing. Sometimes a job shared, is a job halved- giving you more quality tine together. Make sure that whatever you choose is something you are good at and won't feel resentful about doing. Each partner in the relationship should play to their strengths.
It's easy to give words of praise but the praise should be sincere and, if possible, specific to something the other person has done. This shows you are noticing them and not taking them for granted.
Little things can mean a lot:
- A single rose
- Their favourite candy bar
- A piece of clothing they have spotted when out shopping but not bought
- A nice meal out And anything else that you know they would like.
- An element of surprise can also make the gift even more special.
This can be tough with busy lifestyles but it is worth it to make the effort:
- Thirty minutes of chatting and handholding once the kids are asleep or once you can relax for the evening
- A regular date night
- A shared activity you both enjoy, such as a walk at your local beauty spot And so on.
In many cases, this will mean sex, but it can mean a lot of other things as well:
- Holding hands
- Hugging * Kissing
- Trading massages
- Showering or bathing together And anything else you both enjoy.